Title: Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands

Authors: Terri Morrison, Wayne A. Conaway

Published: 1994

Book Categories: Business, Self-Help, Cross-Cultural Communication, Idea Generation

Summary:

I. Introduction to Cross-Cultural Communication

Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands by Terri Morrison and Wayne A. Conaway is an authoritative guide to navigating the intricacies of international etiquette and cross-cultural communication. The book serves as a manual for professionals who engage in global business, emphasizing the importance of understanding and respecting cultural differences to build successful relationships. The authors break down the nuances of body language, communication styles, business practices, and social behavior across numerous countries.

Key Action: Before traveling for business or working with international clients, research and familiarize yourself with their cultural norms to avoid misunderstandings and foster stronger relationships.

II. Analyzing Communication Styles

Morrison and Conaway categorize communication styles as high-context and low-context. High-context cultures, such as Japan and many Middle Eastern countries, rely heavily on non-verbal cues and the context of the conversation. In contrast, low-context cultures, like the United States and Germany, depend more on explicit verbal communication.

Concrete Example: In Japan, the indirect communication style means that “yes” might not always imply agreement but could be a way to avoid direct refusal.

Action Point: When dealing with high-context cultures, pay careful attention to body language, tone, and the environment of the conversation. Avoid pressing for direct answers.

III. Business Etiquette and Protocol

The book highlights varying business etiquettes, including greetings, exchange of business cards, gift-giving customs, and dress codes. Understanding these can mitigate the risk of faux pas and show respect for the counterpart’s culture.

Concrete Example: In China, business cards (mingpai) are exchanged with both hands, and studying the card carefully before putting it away shows respect.

Action Point: Always carry a high-quality business card holder, and when exchanging cards in China, ensure to take time to look at the card before putting it away respectfully.

IV. Common Etiquette Blunders and How to Avoid Them

Morrison and Conaway catalog common etiquette blunders that can derail business negotiations. Acknowledging these pitfalls can help professionals avoid offending their international colleagues.

Concrete Example: Avoid pointing feet at people in Thailand, as feet are considered the lowest and dirtiest part of the body.

Action Point: While seated in meetings in Thailand, remain conscious of foot positioning to avoid inadvertently offending others.

V. The Importance of Building Relationships

Emphasized throughout the book is the significance of relationship-building in various cultures. While Americans may focus on direct business dealings, many cultures prioritize establishing a personal connection first.

Concrete Example: In South Korea, building trust before discussing business specifics is crucial. Initial meetings may involve several dinners or social gatherings before any business is mentioned.

Action Point: Allocate time for socializing and personal interaction before official meetings with South Korean business partners.

VI. Negotiation Techniques

Different cultures have varied negotiation practices, influenced by their historical, social, and economic contexts. Understanding these can provide a strategic advantage in international negotiations.

Concrete Example: In Brazil, negotiations can be dynamic, and interrupting each other is a part of the dialogue and not seen as disrespectful.

Action Point: Be flexible and adaptive during negotiations with Brazilian counterparts. Allow the fluidity of conversation and refrain from taking interruptions personally.

VII. Gift Giving Protocols

Gift-giving customs differ significantly around the world and can either be a bridge or a barrier. Morrison and Conaway offer detailed guidance on appropriate gifts and the occasions for presenting them.

Concrete Example: In Japan, giving a set of four items is considered bad luck as the number four (shi) sounds like the word for death.

Action Point: When giving gifts in Japan, avoid sets of four and opt for sets of three or five instead.

VIII. Social Behavior and Dining Etiquette

Understanding social customs, including dining etiquette, is crucial for socializing outside the boardroom. Different cultures have unique dining practices that signify respect and camaraderie.

Concrete Example: In India, eating with the left hand is considered impolite, as the left hand is reserved for personal hygiene.

Action Point: When dining in India, ensure to use only the right hand for eating and passing food.

IX. Time Perceptions

Cultures have distinct perceptions of time, which affect punctuality, the structure of meetings, and deadlines. Misunderstandings over time can lead to perceived disrespect.

Concrete Example: In Germany, punctuality is a sign of respect and efficiency, while in Latin American countries, meetings often start later than scheduled due to a more relaxed approach to time.

Action Point: Respect the local time norms by always being on time for meetings in Germany and being patient with potential delays in Latin America.

X. Dress Codes and Personal Appearance

Appropriate dress codes reflect respect and understanding of local business etiquettes. This can vary significantly from one culture to another, influencing first impressions and business rapport.

Concrete Example: In the Middle East, conservative dress is preferred, and women should cover their arms and legs fully.

Action Point: When traveling to the Middle East for business, ensure to pack formal, conservative clothing that adheres to local customs.

XI. Managing Corporate Hierarchies

Different cultures have varying levels of respect for hierarchy and authority, which can influence how decisions are made and who should be involved in discussions.

Concrete Example: In Japan, the most senior person will likely lead discussions and make decisions, whereas in Scandinavian countries, a more egalitarian approach ensures input from all levels.

Action Point: Show deference to senior members in hierarchical cultures like Japan by directing comments and discussions to them first.

XII. Non-Verbal Cues and Physical Gestures

Non-verbal communication, such as gestures and facial expressions, can carry different meanings across cultures. Misinterpretation of these cues can lead to unintended offense.

Concrete Example: In Greece, the “OK” hand gesture is considered an offensive insult.

Action Point: Be mindful of using hand gestures in international settings and research their meanings beforehand to avoid confusion or offense.

Conclusion

Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands offers a treasure trove of practical advice, emphasizing the importance of cultural sensitivity and adaptability. By systematically addressing communication styles, business etiquette, social behaviors, and negotiation techniques, the book equips professionals with the tools needed for successful cross-cultural interactions. The actionable insights provided encourage readers to appreciate diversity, fostering mutual respect and effective collaboration on the global stage.