The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier is a transformative guide for leaders focused on effective coaching to enhance employee development. The book emphasizes the power of questioning and offers seven essential questions to make coaching an everyday practice.

Stanier’s coaching philosophy pivots away from the traditional model of directive leadership towards a more question-centered approach. He argues that leaders can unlock employee potential and foster growth by saying less and asking more. His framework revolves around seven pivotal questions that encourage deeper thinking, better decisions, and increased accountability.

Summary:
This open-ended question helps immediately zero in on what matters most to the person being coached. It invites them to bring up the single most pressing issue or topic at hand, thus creating a focused conversation.

Action:
Begin every coaching session or one-on-one meeting with “What’s on your mind?” This sets a direct path to the core issues without wasting time on less significant topics.

Example:
In the book, Stanier illustrates the use of this question with a coaching scenario where an employee quickly moves from broad work topics to discussing specific challenges in a project. This helps the leader offer targeted support rather than general advice.

Summary:
This question encourages deeper exploration beyond initial responses. It uncovers additional layers of thought and emotion, leading to richer, more thoughtful conversations.

Action:
When an employee shares an issue or idea, follow up with “And what else?” to ensure no underlying concerns are left unexplored.

Example:
Stanier describes how using this question helps a manager discover that an employee’s apparent performance issue is linked to a lack of resources, a problem not identified with the initial query alone.

Summary:
This question narrows down the conversation to the heart of the issue, identifying the real obstacles preventing progress. It shifts the focus from external problems to personal challenges.

Action:
When an employee mentions a problem, move the discussion towards personal responsibility and specific challenges they face with “What’s the real challenge here for you?”

Example:
In a vignette, an employee initially talks about team conflicts. The leader, by asking this question, helps the employee realize that their real challenge is an inability to delegate tasks effectively.

Summary:
This question clarifies the goals and desires of the person being coached. It ensures both parties understand the true objectives behind the conversation.

Action:
To align objectives and set clear outcomes from the discussion, ask “What do you want?” at crucial decision points.

Example:
Stanier shares a scenario where an employee feels overwhelmed with work. By asking this question, the manager helps the employee articulate a desire to develop better time management skills rather than just venting about workload.

Summary:
This question opens up a dialogue about the specific ways in which the leader can provide support, rather than assuming what help is needed. It promotes empowerment and self-sufficiency.

Action:
When an employee describes an issue or a goal, prompt them with “How can I help?” to encourage them to articulate the precise support they need.

Example:
An employee struggling with a new project management tool is asked this question. Instead of assuming they need training, the manager learns they need more time to practice the new tool during work hours.

Summary:
This question emphasizes the importance of prioritization and helps team members understand the trade-offs involved in their decisions. It brings clarity to the implications of commitment.

Action:
When an employee commits to a new task or project, ask “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?” This aids them in evaluating the real cost of their choices.

Example:
A manager uses this question when an ambitious employee takes on a new initiative. This helps the employee realize that accepting this project means they will have less time for ongoing responsibilities, prompting a more thoughtful decision.

Summary:
This question supports reflection and solidifies learning. It helps both the coach and the employee understand what was most beneficial about the conversation, reinforcing key insights and actions.

Action:
At the end of a meeting or coaching session, ask “What was most useful for you?” to reinforce learning and ensure key points are understood and remembered.

Example:
After discussing a performance issue, a manager asks this question, and the employee identifies specific feedback as the most useful takeaway, ensuring that critical advice is internalized and acted upon.

Stanier emphasizes that effective coaching is not just for formal one-on-one sessions but should be embedded in daily interactions. Leaders should cultivate a habit of asking these insightful questions regularly.

Action:
Set reminders for yourself to use these questions during daily conversations and performance reviews.

Action:
Reflect on the questions you asked (or forgot to ask) after each coaching conversation, and plan to incorporate them more consciously next time.

Action:
Foster a supportive environment where team members feel comfortable expressing their real challenges and goals.

Action:
Train all leaders, not just top management, in these coaching techniques to ensure a consistent approach across the organization.

Action:
Encourage employees to take notes during coaching sessions and review them regularly to track progress and learning.

“The Coaching Habit” offers a concise, practical framework for leaders seeking to improve their coaching skills. By focusing on asking rather than telling, and by leveraging the seven pivotal questions, leaders can unlock deeper insights, encourage self-sufficiency, and drive more meaningful, effective employee development. Implementing these strategies can lead to a thriving, empowered workforce and a more dynamic, agile organization.