Introduction

Verna A. Myers’ book, “What If I Say the Wrong Thing?: 25 Habits for Culturally Effective People,” aims to provide actionable strategies to foster inclusivity and cultural competence in diverse settings. The book is structured around 25 habits that anyone can adopt to become more culturally effective, and it comes with pertinent examples and actionable advice. This summary will cover the key points and specific actions readers can take for each habit to implement the book’s recommendations.

1. Acknowledge That You Don’t Know
– Example: Myers highlights how admitting ignorance in conversations about other cultures invites learning and reduces the pressure to be perfect.
– Action: When in doubt, say, “I don’t know much about that. Can you tell me more?”

2. Practice Active Listening
– Example: Listening to understand, rather than to respond, can deepen your cultural insights.
– Action: Use body language (nodding, maintaining eye contact) and verbal cues (“I hear you”) to show you are engaged.

3. Seek Out Diverse Perspectives
– Example: Myers mentions how engaging with colleagues from different backgrounds can offer new insights and solutions.
– Action: Initiate conversations and collaborations with people who have diverse experiences, and actively solicit their viewpoints.

4. Be Authentic
– Example: Myers emphasizes the importance of being genuine in interactions rather than trying to adopt a persona you think will be accepted.
– Action: Reflect on your own values and views, and share them honestly while respecting others.

5. Interrupt Bias
– Example: When Myers saw a colleague being unfairly criticized due to biases, she chose to speak up.
– Action: Interrupt situations where biases arise by addressing the issue directly, e.g., “I noticed that feedback seems harsher than usual. Can we discuss why?”

6. Educate Yourself Continuously
– Example: The author encourages ongoing learning about different cultures and social issues.
– Action: Subscribe to diverse media, read books by authors from various backgrounds, and attend cultural events.

7. Understand Historical Contexts
– Example: Myers illustrates how knowing the history behind community tensions can enhance present-day interactions.
– Action: Take time to learn the historical narratives of different groups, starting with their representation in your local community.

8. Question Stereotypes
– Example: Myers shares instances where questioning stereotypes led to enriching conversations.
– Action: When you catch yourself or others generalizing, ask, “What makes us believe this, and is it accurate?”

9. Apologize When You Err
– Example: After realizing she had made an insensitive comment, Myers’ sincere apology strengthened her relationship with the offended party.
– Action: If you make a mistake, promptly say, “I apologize for what I said/did. It wasn’t right, and I’m committed to doing better.”

10. Build Relationships with People Different From You
– Example: Myers discusses how forming diverse friendships can reduce biases.
– Action: Seek out friendships and professional relationships that cross cultural lines, actively engaging and understanding their experiences.

11. Show Empathy
– Example: Myers explains how empathetic interactions can bridge cultural gaps.
– Action: Practice placing yourself in others’ shoes and express empathy by saying, “That sounds really challenging. I appreciate you sharing this with me.”

12. Use Inclusive Language
– Example: The author shares how language can either divide or promote inclusivity.
– Action: Opt for terms that include all groups, such as saying “partner” instead of “husband/wife” when you don’t know someone’s marital situation.

13. Challenge Microaggressions
– Example: Myers describes successfully addressing microaggressions in a workplace setting.
– Action: Call out microaggressions calmly: “That comment could be hurtful. Let’s rephrase.”

14. Cultivate Curiosity
– Example: Myers recalls her productive dialogues initiated out of natural curiosity.
– Action: Ask open-ended questions about cultural practices, like “What’s the significance of this custom in your culture?”

15. Advocate for Underrepresented Groups
– Example: Myers narrates how advocacy can create more inclusive environments.
– Action: Use your platform to elevate voices from underrepresented groups, for instance, by recommending diverse speakers for events.

16. Reflect on Your Privileges
– Example: The author discusses self-reflection tools to understand inherent privileges.
– Action: List your privileges and consider how they impact your interactions, then use this awareness to support equity initiatives.

17. Embrace Discomfort
– Example: Myers shares personal stories of growth through uncomfortable conversations.
– Action: Push through discomfort by starting conversations on difficult topics, like systemic racism, with the intent to learn.

18. Promote Equity in Your Sphere of Influence
– Example: Myers recounts influencing hiring practices to be more inclusive.
– Action: Advocate for and implement equitable practices in hiring, promotions, and other areas within your influence.

19. Celebrate Cultural Diversity
– Example: Myers speaks about workplace celebrations of various cultural events.
– Action: Organize or participate in events that honor the cultural practices and holidays of diverse groups.

20. Provide Constructive Feedback
– Example: The author emphasizes giving feedback that fosters growth without being patronizing.
– Action: Frame feedback focused on actions, not character, e.g., “I noticed that you often interrupt women in meetings. Let’s work on ensuring everyone gets a chance to speak.”

21. Seek Feedback on Your Blind Spots
– Example: Myers talks about the importance of asking others for input on your behavior.
– Action: Ask a trusted colleague, “Can you give me feedback on how I handle cultural issues?”

22. Mentor Someone Different From You
– Example: Mentoring a person from a different background can offer mutual growth, Myers suggests.
– Action: Actively offer mentorship to individuals from underrepresented groups, focusing on building their skills and confidence.

23. Create Safe Spaces for Dialogue
– Example: Myers highlights that safe spaces encourage open dialogue and problem-solving.
– Action: Foster a meeting environment where all participants feel safe to voice their thoughts, setting ground rules for respect and confidentiality.

24. Stay Accountable
– Example: Holding oneself accountable for cultural competence is essential, according to Myers.
– Action: Regularly review and adjust your cultural habits and biases, perhaps with a diversity coach or accountability partner.

25. Be Patient with Yourself and Others
– Example: The journey toward cultural competence is ongoing and requires patience from all parties.
– Action: Give yourself and others grace for mistakes along the path, committing to continual improvement.

Conclusion

Verna A. Myers’ book serves as a guide to cultivating habits that enhance cultural competence and inclusivity. By practicing these habits and implementing the specific actions suggested, individuals can contribute significantly to creating a more inclusive and understanding environment in both personal and professional circles. The foundational message is to embrace the ongoing journey of cultural growth with sincerity, curiosity, and commitment.